Joke Of The Day

[Guest]

What you didnt know about cinderalla,when she went to the ball,she also had her period "fairy god mother,fairy god mother, I havent got any tampons left" fairy god mother replies " agh just grab one of those pumnkins,Ill ding it with me bloody wand...DING*,there you go oh, and rember be home by midnight"

vik

[Guest]

Rastus is starving hungry,looking for soule food and a place to eat, he stumbles upon Sambos eatery so in he goes and orders a a bowl of soup.

Sambo,Sambo he shouts in discust,Sambo runs up and asks WAT IT,WAT IT,Rastus say LOOK IT,LOOK IT,thers a fly in my soup!

Sambo is devestated.."Im sorry bro whats else kan eyes bring yaz?"

Rastus grunts "bring me a bowl of custard!"

Sambo returns with a nice creamy bowl of the preorded,puts it on the table,

where Rastus promptly gets up,flops out his love muscle and starts rooting the bowl

" WTF you think you doing?"asks Sambo,to which Rastus riplies,

''IM f#cking dis custard

vik

[Guest]

Sambo was feeling suicidal walking home when he came across Big Lola,"Hey Sambo watchudooin ? jou wanna skrew meh?"

" No Lola you to fat,and sides eyes wanna kills my self"

"Sambos,lookit,eyes gosts a big belt,help me tighten it up here."said lola

So Sambo being the good ole sole screw he was, couldnt help him self,tighened up the belt as much as he could .

"Why Is thanks youse Sambo,now jous wanna skrew meh?"

Hmmm Sambo thought, she looks a bit better now(as he starts to feel faint because of his sudden loss of blood to his stodger)

"Oks Lola,my black pud is all yours"

"Oh S a m b o, o h h h h h"

So Sambo does the deed,emptys his bag,and still feeling a bit light headed when Lola says

"hey Sambo youse still wants to die?"

"Yea Lola"

So Lola undoes the belt,the sound of the huge vacume was heard from miles around and Sambo was never seen again.

vik

[XRSICKT]

:o

[Falchoon]

Two guys are in a supermarket when their trolleys collide.

Bob says, "I'm sorry, I was looking for my wife."

"What a coincidence, so am I, and I'm getting a little desperate," says Joe. "Well, maybe I can help you. What does your wife look like?" asks Bob.

Joe replies, "She's tall, with long hair, long legs, firm breas*s and a magnificent backside. What does your wife look like?"

"Never mind," says Bob, "let's look for yours!" :lol:

[Falchoon]

"It was just a simple misunderstanding, your honor," testified the man charged with indecent exposure.

"Explain that statement!" demanded the judge.

"Well, you see, this girl and I were drinking in a bar and she asked me what I wanted most in a woman, so I showed her."

[Falchoon]

A minister was seated next to a marine on a flight.

After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.

The marine asked for a whiskey and soda, which the flight attendant brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a drink.

He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely groped by brazen harlots than let liquor touch my lips."

The marine then handed his drink back to the flight attendant and said, "Me, too. I didn't know we had a choice."

[Guest]

Thanks Vik, I do have a reputation to uphold.

If I started posting good jokes people would think something was wrong! :lol:

Coming along very nicley I would say Hoon

vik

[HellionXR6T]

Haha, not bad

A senior citizen in Florida bought a brand new Mercedes convertible. He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. "This is great," he thought as he roared down I-75. He pushed the pedal to the metal even more. Then he looked in his rear view mirror and saw a highway patrol trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.

"I can get away from him with no problem" thought the man and he tromped it some more and flew down the road at over 100 mph. Then 110, 120 mph! Then he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing." He pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the trooper to catch up with him.

The trooper pulled in behind the Mercedes and walked up to the man. "Sir," he said, looking at his watch. "My shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The man looked at the trooper and said, "Years ago my wife ran off with a Florida state trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back."

[KEN 24T]

Q. What has 4,000 legs and 3 pubic hairs?

A. A Nicki Webster concert.