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  • In Your Face
  • Member
  • Member For: 23y 6m 16d
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: Peninsula
Posted

Change your oil

It was the stir of the town when an 80-year-old man married a 20-year-old girl. After a year she went into the hospital to give birth. The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow. "This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?"

He answered, "You've got to keep that old motor running."

The following year she gave birth again. The same nurse said, "You really are amazing. How do you do it?"

He again said, "You've got to keep the old motor running."

The same thing happened the next year. The nurse said, "You must be quite a man."

He responded, "You've got to keep that old motor running."

The nurse then said, "Well, you had better change the oil, this one's black."

  • No boost, no bottle, just my foot on the throttle!
  • Legacy Donating Member
  • Member For: 22y 7m 11d
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: Sydney
Posted

VENTRILOQUIST

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club.

With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes.

What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person.... because you and your kind continue perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!"

The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the Blonde yells,

"You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little f*#ker sitting on your knee.

  • Poison Fish. Poison Fish. TASTY FISH!!!
  • Legacy Donating Member
  • Member For: 23y 6m 10d
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: The Bogan Shire
Posted

For Macka:

What do you call a dear with no eyes?

No Idea

  • Poison Fish. Poison Fish. TASTY FISH!!!
  • Legacy Donating Member
  • Member For: 23y 6m 10d
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: The Bogan Shire
Posted

What do you call a dear with no eyes and no legs?

Still No Idea

  • Poison Fish. Poison Fish. TASTY FISH!!!
  • Legacy Donating Member
  • Member For: 23y 6m 10d
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: The Bogan Shire
Posted

What do you call a dear with no eyes, no legs and no nuts?

Still No f*cking Idea?

  • Poison Fish. Poison Fish. TASTY FISH!!!
  • Legacy Donating Member
  • Member For: 23y 6m 10d
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: The Bogan Shire
Posted

What do you call a dear with no eyes, no legs, no nuts and no brain?

Still No f*cking Idea?...Stupid

  • Poison Fish. Poison Fish. TASTY FISH!!!
  • Legacy Donating Member
  • Member For: 23y 6m 10d
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: The Bogan Shire
Posted

Whats Green, 8 foot long and hangs from a tree?

Elephant Snot.

  • Poison Fish. Poison Fish. TASTY FISH!!!
  • Legacy Donating Member
  • Member For: 23y 6m 10d
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: The Bogan Shire
Posted

What's Green, has 8 legs and will kill you if it falls from a tree?

A Billiard Table.

  • Poison Fish. Poison Fish. TASTY FISH!!!
  • Legacy Donating Member
  • Member For: 23y 6m 10d
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: The Bogan Shire
Posted

What's the deadliest Culinary Dish known to man?

Shark-Infested Soup

  • Poison Fish. Poison Fish. TASTY FISH!!!
  • Legacy Donating Member
  • Member For: 23y 6m 10d
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: The Bogan Shire
Posted

How do you dorwn a blonde?

Put a mirror on the bottom of the pool.

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