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  • Member
  • Member For: 23y 2m 24d
  • Location: Sydney, Australia
Posted
Does this mean Gandalf, that you are unable to conjure up a spell to stop him....

I'm compelled to use my powers for good, not evil ... sorry. :k24t:

:k24t:

But Gandalf, you may think that conjuring a spell to stop him is evil, but just thing of the GOOD it will do for the rest of us, who have to endure this onslaught.

  • Xtreme Xalted Member
  • Legacy Donating Member
  • Member For: 23y 4m 19d
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: BrisVegas
Posted
Couple of cannibals eating a comedian...... One says "does this meat taste funny to you?"

Fer Cripes sake Mack ... I'll bloody-well pay you to stop! :k24t:

:k24t:

Money?

Who needs money when we have mirth....

Bloke goes into his Doc.

Doc, I keep thinking I'm a Tarpaulin.

Yes, I can see your problem...... Your two tents.

  • Gandalf the Grey, Maiar of Manwë and Varda, Team HgAg/Sneaky
  • Member
  • Member For: 23y 2m 26d
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: The Shire, Middle Earth
Posted
Bloke goes into his Doc.

Doc, I keep thinking I'm a Tarpaulin.

Yes, I can see your problem...... Your two tents.

I heard this one like:

Bloke goes into his Doc.

Bloke: Doc, I'm a WigWam, I'm a TeePee.

Doc: Settle down mate, your too tense!

:w00t2:

  • I see red
  • Member
  • Member For: 23y 9m 8d
  • Location: nowhere in particular
Posted

OK Mack, you asked for it...

Q Why was Tigger looking in the toilet?

A He was looking for Pooh!

Q What happened to the cat that ate wool?

A She had mittens...

Q What do you do to a tissue that won't dance?

A Put a little boogie into it!

  • Xtreme Xalted Member
  • Legacy Donating Member
  • Member For: 23y 4m 19d
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: BrisVegas
Posted
OK Mack, you asked for it...

Q Why was Tigger looking in the toilet?

A He was looking for Pooh!

Q What happened to the cat that ate wool?

A She had mittens...

Q What do you do to a tissue that won't dance?

A Put a little boogie into it!

Oh yeah

that's my kinda humour..... :beeer::blush::k24t:

  • Team Bute
  • Legacy Donating Member
  • Member For: 23y 2m 10d
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: Adelaide
Posted

Lets get this back to a more mature level.......

OK fellas, This is a riddle to determine your intuitive levels of observation and intellectual and logical reasoning....

Open the image below, and make a determination of which beer is colder!

Moderators may require a warning...... but I'll post it and we'll see.....

  • Gandalf the Grey, Maiar of Manwë and Varda, Team HgAg/Sneaky
  • Member
  • Member For: 23y 2m 26d
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: The Shire, Middle Earth
Posted
which beer is colder!

Judging by the "erect-ness" of her right nipple, I'd say the one on her right-hand side? :huh:

:pooh:

  • Team Bute
  • Legacy Donating Member
  • Member For: 23y 2m 10d
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: Adelaide
Posted

Are you always that quick kenny? :lol:

I barely pressed the send button.

  • I see red
  • Member
  • Member For: 23y 9m 8d
  • Location: nowhere in particular
Posted

The Afganistan Ambassador to the U.N. has just finished giving a speech, and walks out into the lobby where he meets his American counterpart.

They shake hands and as they walk the Afgan says, "You know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America."

The American says "Well your Excellency, anything I can do to help you I will do."

The Afgan whispers "My son watches this show 'Star Trek' and in it there are Russians and Blacks and Asians, but never any Arabs. He is very upset. He doesn't understand why there are never any Arabs in Star Trek."

The American laughs and leans over. "That's because it takes place in the future."

  • In Your Face
  • Member
  • Member For: 23y 6m 16d
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: Peninsula
Posted

Skydiving

A man went skydiving for the first time. After listening to the instructor for what seemed like days, he was ready to go. Excited, he jumped out of the airplane. About five seconds later, he pulled the ripcord. Nothing happened. He tried again. Still nothing.

He started to panic, but remembered his back-up chute. He pulled that cord. Nothing happened. He frantically began yanking both cords to no avail.

Suddenly he looked down, and he couldn't believe his eyes. Another man was in the air with him, but this guy was going up! Just as the other guy passed by, the skydiver yelled, "Hey, do you know anything about skydiving?"

The other guy yelled back, "No! Do you know anything about gas stoves?"

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