Joke Of The Day

[Corzza]

[Corzza]

Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, 'cause everyone else in the class laughed.

My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.

Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal

was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, just like she'd

asked the other children. So I told her it was because you could make

them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office

again. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most.

I told her, "Colonel Sanders".

Guess where I am now...

[exarsixturbo]

I'm turning over a new leaf

I’ve decided not to make any jokes about the unfortunate passing of Adriana Xenides.

It would be –

_n_ppr_pr_t_

[Panda Eyes]

lol. when they showed old footage of her on the news last night, she was turning the letters around on the wheel of fortune board, and the phrase was 'mutton dressed up as lamb'

[RIP_HSV]

[tab]

[FPV6T]

Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced:

'Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain.Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto . The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So sit back,relax and....... OH, MY GOD !'

Silence followed!

Some moments later the captain came back on the intercom.

'Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you . While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!'

One Irish passenger yelled...

'For f*#k's sake ....... you should see the back of mine!!!'

[Corzza]

Paddy has broken his leg and his buddy Mick comes over to see him.

Mick says, "How you doin?"

Paddy says, "Okay, but do me a favour mate, run upstairs and get me slippers, me feet are freezing."

Mick goes upstairs and sees Paddy's gorgeous 19-year-old twin daughters lying on the bed.

Paddy has broken his leg and his buddy Mick comes over to see him.

Mick says, "How you doin?"

Paddy says, "Okay, but do me a favour mate, run upstairs and get me slippers, me feet are freezing."

Mick goes upstairs and sees Paddy's gorgeous 19-year-old twin daughters lying on the bed.

He says, "Your dad's sent me up here to have sex with both of you."

They say, "Get away with ya.... prove it."

Mick shouts downstairs, "Paddy, both of em?"

Paddy shouts back, "Of course both of em, what's the point of f*****' one?"

[Dagabond]

_n_ppr_pr_t_

Can I buy a bowel please baby John?

[buzn]

Q. Wats better than eating a mandarin?

A. Eating amanda out

Q. How does a butcher introduce his wife?

A. Meet Pattie

Q. Wat did the 0 say to the 8?

A. Nice belt