Joke Of The Day

[Blown BA]

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the

breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. "

"Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call

her the Government.

We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people."

"The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby

brother, we'll call him the Future.

Now, think about that and see if that makes sense," So the little boy

goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to

check on him.

He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little

boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep.

Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room.

Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father

in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father,

"Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now."

The father says,

"Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all

about."

The little boy replies,

"Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the

Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored

and the Future is in deep sh*t."

[aniken]

Kicking lessons

[aniken]

More beckham

[aniken]

And another

[Falchoon]

For the racing fans out there

Horses in race are:

1. Passionate Lady

2. Clean Sheets

3. Bare Belly

4. Thighs

5. Silk Panties

6. Big Dick

7. Conscience

8. Heavy Bosom

9. Jockey Shorts

10. Merry Cherry

At the post:

They're off! Conscience is left behind at the post. Jockey Shorts and

Silk Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy bosom is being pressured.

Passionate lady is caught between Thighs and Big Dick is in a very dangerous

spot.

At the Halfway Mark:

It's Bare Belly on top, Thighs open and Big Dick is pressed in.

Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard agains Clean Sheets. Passionate Lady and

Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly. Bare Belly is under terrific

pressure from Big Dick.

At the Stretch:

Merry Cherry cracks under the strain. Big Dick is making a final drive.

Bare Belly is in and Passionate Lady is coming.

At the Finish:

Its Big Dick giving everything he's got and Passionate Lady takes

everything Big Dick has to offer. It looks like a dead heat but BigDick

comes through with one final spurt and wins by a head. Bare Belly

shows. Heavy Bosom weakens and Thighs pull up. Clean Sheets never had a

chance.............

[Falchoon]

The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that, "When you discover that you are riding on a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount."

However, in government, education and in corporate Australia, more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:

1. Buying a stronger whip

2. Changing riders

3. Appointing a committee to study the horse

4. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride the horses

5. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included

6. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired

7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse

8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed

9. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horses performance

10. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horses performance

11. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, is less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy that do some other horses

12. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses and ..........

13. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position!

[Blown BA]

A rookie Police Officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with a more experienced partner. A call came over the car's radio telling them to disperse some people in town who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and immediately observed a small crowd standing on one corner.

The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner."

No one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off the corner now!"

Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled glances in his direction. Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?"

"Pretty good", replied the veteran, "considering this is a bus stop."

[Blown BA]

A little old lady goes into the store to do some shopping. She is bewildered over the large selection of toilet paper.

"Pardon me, sir," she says to the store manager, "but can you explain the differences in all these toilet papers?"

"Well," he replies pointing out one brand, "this is as soft as a baby's kiss. It's $1.50 per roll."

He grabs another and says, "This is nice and soft as a bunny, strong but gentle, and it's $1.00 a roll."

Pointing to the bottom shelf he tells her, "We call that our No Name brand, and it's 20 cents per roll." "Give me the No Name," she says.

She comes back about a week later, seeks out the manager and says, "Hey! I've got a name for your No Name toilet paper. I call it John Wayne."

"Why?" he asks.

"Because it's rough, it's tough and it don't take crap off anybody!"

[Blown BA]

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?

(because they are plugged into a genius)

2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING FOREPLAY?

(they don't have enough time)

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?

(they don't stop to ask directions)

4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?

(because their balls fall over their butts and they vapor lock)

(You're laughing arent you???)

5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?

(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties)

6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?

(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?

(don't know...... it never happened)

(C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)

And my personal favorite:

8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?

(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)

[KEN 24T]

I don't like long jokes ... my attention span isn't that ... sorry, what ... oh yeh ... good.