Joke Of The Day

[-carty]

"sir, I think I see a hair in my beer"

[-carty]

"dur, brandine, which ting dus dis butten does?"

[-carty]

she had an itch? (boobie showing... funny though)

[Falchoon]

A small boy was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!"

The cop asked, "What's he like?"

The little boy replied, "Beer and women!"

[Blown BA]

A man goes into a cafe and sits down. A waitress comes to take his order, and he asks her, "What's the special of the day?"

"Chili," she says, "but the gentleman next to you got the last bowl."

The man says he'll just have coffee, and the waitress goes to fetch it. As he waited, he noticed the man next to him was eating a full lunch and the bowl of chili remained uneaten.

"Are you going to eat your chili?" he asked.

"No, help yourself," replied his neighbor.

The man picked up a spoon and eagerly began devouring the chili. When he got halfway through the bowl, he noticed the body of a dead mouse in the bottom of the bowl. Sickened, he puked the chili he had just eaten back into the bowl.

The man sitting next to him says, "Yeah, that's as far as I got, too."

[Blown BA]

Grandpa was showing little Johnny around the farm, and when they come

to the corral, he explained, "That's a bull and a cow, and he's serving

her."

A little later on, they saw horses. The Grandpa said, "That's a stud

and a mare, and he's serving her, too."

That night at supper, after everyone was seated and grace was said,

Grandma turned to Grandpa and said, "Will you please serve the turkey?"

Little Johnny jumped up and yelled, "If he does, I'm eating a

hamburger!"

[Blown BA]

A cop is patrolling Lover's Lane when he sees the strangest thing. A young teenage couple is sitting in a car, the guy in the front and the girl in the back. The guy is reading a magazine and the girl appears to be knitting.

He stops the patrol car and walks over to knock on the young man's window. He rolls the window down.

"Yes officer?"

"I have to ask you, what are you doing?"

"Well sir, I am reading a magazine."

"What about the young lady in the backseat?"

The young man turns to look behind him. "Well, I think she is knitting a pullover sweater."

"How old are you young man?" the officer asks.

"I am 25 Officer."

"And the girl?"

The young man looks at his watch. "Well, she'll be 18 in 11 minutes."

[KEN 24T]

A man goes into a cafe and sits down. A waitress comes to take his order, and he asks her, "What's the special of the day?"

"Chili," she says, "but the gentleman next to you got the last bowl."

The man says he'll just have coffee, and the waitress goes to fetch it. As he waited, he noticed the man next to him was eating a full lunch and the bowl of chili remained uneaten.

"Are you going to eat your chili?" he asked.

"No, help yourself," replied his neighbor.

The man picked up a spoon and eagerly began devouring the chili. When he got halfway through the bowl, he noticed the body of a dead mouse in the bottom of the bowl. Sickened, he puked the chili he had just eaten back into the bowl.

The man sitting next to him says, "Yeah, that's as far as I got, too."

:o :o :o

[Blown BA]

A priest and a nun are returning from a conference when their van breaks down. They can't get it fixed, so they decide to spend the night in a hotel. The only hotel in the town has only one room available.

Priest: "Sister, I don't think God would have a problem, under these circumstances, if we spent the night together in this one room. I'll sleep on the couch and you have the bed."

Nun: "I think that would be fine."

They get ready for bed. The priest goes to the couch and the nun goes to the bed. Five minutes later...

Nun: "Father, I'm a little cold."

Priest: "OK, I'll get you a blanket." (He does)

Five minutes later...

Nun: "Father, I'm still a bit cold."

Priest: "OK Sister, I'll get you another blanket." (He does)

Five minutes later...

Nun: "Father, I'm terribly cold. I don't think God would mind if we acted as man and wife just for this one night."

Priest: "You're probably right...get up and get your own darn blanket."

[Blown BA]

A little boy goes shopping with his mother and is waiting right outside of the ladies dressing room for his Mom to come out.

While waiting, the little boy gets bored and just when his Mom comes walking out she sees her son sliding his hand up a mannequin's skirt.

"Get your hand out of there!" she shouts. "Don't you know that women have teeth down there?"

The little boy quickly snatches his hand away and thanks his lucky stars he didn't get bitten!

For the next ten years, this little boy grows up believing all women have teeth between their legs.

When he's 16, he gets a girlfriend. One night, while her parents are out of town, she invites him over for a little action.

After an hour of making out and grinding on the sofa, she says, "You know, you could go a little further if you want."

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"Well, why don't you put your hand down there?" she says, pointing to her crotch.

"Hell no," he cries, "you've got teeth down there!"

"Don't be ridiculous," she responds, "there's no teeth down there."

"Yes, there are," he says, "my Mom told me so."

"No, there aren't," she insists. "Here, look for yourself."

With that, she pulls down her pants and gives him a little peek."

"No, I'm sorry", he says. "My Mom already told me that ALL women have teeth down there."

"Oh for crying out loud!" she cries. She whips off her panties, throws her legs behind her head, and says, "LOOK, I DON'T have any teeth down there."

The boy takes a good long look and replies, "Well, with the condition of those gums, I'm not surprised!"