Joke Of The Day

[KEN 24T]

A husband and wife go off to bed. As soon as they settle down, the man leans over and whispers softly "hey snuggle boopy boops, your little hubby wubby isn't quite ready for nite-nite yet."

The wife takes the hint and says "OK, but I have to use the bathroom first."

So off she goes, but on her way back she trips over a piece of carpet and lands flat on her face. Her husband jumps up concerned. "Oh my little hunny bunny, is your nosey-wosey all right?"

No harm is done, so she jumps into bed and they have mad passionate sex for two hours.

Afterwards, the wife goes off to the bathroom again, but on her way she trips over the same piece of carpet and again lands flat on her face on the floor.

Her husband looks over and grunts, "Clumsy b**ch."

.... so? ....

[Blown BA]

A husband and wife go off to bed. As soon as they settle down, the man leans over and whispers softly "hey snuggle boopy boops, your little hubby wubby isn't quite ready for nite-nite yet."

The wife takes the hint and says "OK, but I have to use the bathroom first."

So off she goes, but on her way back she trips over a piece of carpet and lands flat on her face. Her husband jumps up concerned. "Oh my little hunny bunny, is your nosey-wosey all right?"

No harm is done, so she jumps into bed and they have mad passionate sex for two hours.

Afterwards, the wife goes off to the bathroom again, but on her way she trips over the same piece of carpet and again lands flat on her face on the floor.

Her husband looks over and grunts, "Clumsy b**ch."

.... so? ....

So....

[Blown BA]

A Yankee couple was driving their RV across Florida and were nearing a town spelled Kissimee. They noted the strange spelling and tried to figure how to pronounce it - KISS-a-me; kis-A-me; kis-a-ME.

They grew more perplexed as they drove into the town. Since they were hungry, they pulled into a place to get something to eat. At the counter, the man said to the waitress:

"My wife and I can't seem to be able to figure out how to pronounce this place. Will you tell me where we are and say it very slowly so that I can understand."

The waitress looked at him and said:

"Buuurrrgerrr Kiiiinnnng."

[Blown BA]

After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license.

The fisherman turns to the warden, "I did not catch these lobsters, they are my pets. Everyday I come down to the water and whistle and these lobster jump out and I take them for a walk only to return them at the end of the day," he says.

The warden, not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "If you don't believe me then watch," as he throws the lobsters back into the water.

The warden says, "Now whistle to your lobsters and show me that they will come out of the water."

The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "What lobsters?"

[Blown BA]

A girl was a prostitute, but she didn't want her grandma to know. One day, the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel and The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes line up along the driveway when suddenly, the girl's grandma came by and saw her granddaughter.

Grandma asked,"Why are you standing in line here, dear?" Not willing to let her grandmother know the truth, the girl told her grandmother that the policemen were there passing out free oranges and she was just lining up for some.

I think I'll get some for myself," said grandma and she proceeded to the back of the line. A policeman was going down the line asking for information from all of them When he got to Grandma, he was bewildered and exclaimed, "Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it?"

I just take my dentures out, pull the skin back and suck them dry."

[Falchoon]

A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and took a firm hold of her left breast.

She jumped up and slapped him silly.

He immediately apologised and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."

"Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!" she screamed.

"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

[Falchoon]

A man, his wife, and her mother were walking in the desert when they stumbled upon a genie lamp. the mother gave it a rub and a genie came streaming out of it "Thank you so much for freeing me," said the genie, "Now I will grant you three wishes."

"I want to have a big mansion in the Alps," stated the mother. POOF! The mother disappeared to her mansion.

Without saying a word to her husband, the wife said, "I want to live on a island in the Bahamas" POOF!, she was off to her island.

The husband sat there for a minute... he was a little unnerved that his wife left so quickly.

"So, let me get this straight.... my wife is in the Bahamas.... her mother is in the Alps somewhere....and I may never see either one of them again unless I become rich so I can fly back and forth?" said the man.

"Correct!" replied the genie.

"I'd like a glass of coke then!"

[Blown BA]

Once there was these 3 men in the army, patroling in Iraqi territory. They found this beat up mangled Iraqi laying dead in the ditch on the side of a road. Then a minute later they found a half dead American on the side of the road with blood and guts all over him.

This was his story "Well I seen this Iraqi dude and told him that Saddam was a stupid jerk. He then said Clinton was a stupid jerk too... When we both agreed and were shaking each other's hands we got ran over by a truck."

[Blown BA]

Three little boys were out playing but the other kids wouldn't play with them because they weren't baptized. So the boys go into a church and all they can find is the janitor. The janitor agrees to baptize them, so he dunks each one it the toilet. As the boys were leaving the church the one says what religion are we now?

I know we isn't Catlick because they sprinkle water over you.

The second said we isn't Baptist because they dunk you in the river.

The third boy says I know what we is I smelled that water and we is Piss-capalian.

[Blown BA]

Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull in, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume and began to give the moose love call.

Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, "Okay, let's get out and get him!" After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do?!" The guy in the front says, "Well....I'm going to start nibbling grass, but you'd better brace yourself!"