KEN 24T Gandalf the Grey, Maiar of Manwë and Varda, Team HgAg/Sneaky Member 7,371 Member For: 23y 2m 24d Gender: Male Location: The Shire, Middle Earth Posted 26/07/04 11:15 PM Posted 26/07/04 11:15 PM
Falchoon I see red Member 5,758 Member For: 23y 9m 6d Location: nowhere in particular Posted 27/07/04 02:49 AM Posted 27/07/04 02:49 AM A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. He said "How bad is it doc?... I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancé is still a virgin - in every way." The doctor told him, "I'll have to put your willie in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week." He took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it all together; ...an impressive work of art. The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries her, and goes on their honeymoon. That night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal her beautiful breas*s. She said, "You're the first; no one has EVER touched these." He immediately drops his pants and replies,... "Look at this, ... still in the CRATE!"
Blown BA In Your Face Member 6,195 Member For: 23y 6m 14d Gender: Male Location: Peninsula Posted 27/07/04 06:52 AM Posted 27/07/04 06:52 AM Yo mama's so hairy...- Yo mama's so hairy, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.- Yo mama's so hairy, Bigfoot took a picture of her.- Yo mama's so hairy, her armpits look like she has Don King in a head lock.- Yo mama's so hairy, she looks like a Chia pet with a sweater on.- Yo mama's so hairy, she has afros on her nipples.- Yo mama's so hairy, you almost died of rug burn at birth.- Yo mama's so hairy, she shaves with a weedwacker.- Yo mama's so hairy, she got a trim and lost 10 pounds.- Yo mama's so hairy, when she spreads her legs ,the first thing that comes to my mind is "We're going to Bush Gardens."
Blown BA In Your Face Member 6,195 Member For: 23y 6m 14d Gender: Male Location: Peninsula Posted 27/07/04 06:53 AM Posted 27/07/04 06:53 AM Some men in a pickup truck drove to a lumber yard.One of the men walked into the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."The clerk asked, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck.He returned shortly and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-four.""All right. How long do you need them?"The customer paused for a moment and said, "I'd better go check."After a while, he returned to the office and said, -"A long time. We're gonna build a house..."
Blown BA In Your Face Member 6,195 Member For: 23y 6m 14d Gender: Male Location: Peninsula Posted 27/07/04 06:54 AM Posted 27/07/04 06:54 AM The teacher asked her students if anyone knew the answer to 2+2, they had three tries or they would not get recess. The first kid said "Uh, 14? "No," the teacher said. The second kid said "3.8" "Not quite" the teacher said. Finally the third kid said "That's easy, 4" "Yes, you all get recess now". At the playground the kids asked how did he know the answer and he said "It's all about the Kidneys!" as he pointed to his head.
KEN 24T Gandalf the Grey, Maiar of Manwë and Varda, Team HgAg/Sneaky Member 7,371 Member For: 23y 2m 24d Gender: Male Location: The Shire, Middle Earth Posted 27/07/04 07:25 AM Posted 27/07/04 07:25 AM The teacher asked her students if anyone knew the answer to 2+2, they had three tries or they would not get recess. The first kid said "Uh, 14? "No," the teacher said. The second kid said "3.8" "Not quite" the teacher said. Finally the third kid said "That's easy, 4" "Yes, you all get recess now". At the playground the kids asked how did he know the answer and he said "It's all about the Kidneys!" as he pointed to his head. ... that was disappointing ...
Blown BA In Your Face Member 6,195 Member For: 23y 6m 14d Gender: Male Location: Peninsula Posted 27/07/04 08:31 AM Posted 27/07/04 08:31 AM The teacher asked her students if anyone knew the answer to 2+2, they had three tries or they would not get recess. The first kid said "Uh, 14? "No," the teacher said. The second kid said "3.8" "Not quite" the teacher said. Finally the third kid said "That's easy, 4" "Yes, you all get recess now". At the playground the kids asked how did he know the answer and he said "It's all about the Kidneys!" as he pointed to his head.... that was disappointing ... Can't please every old fart :lol:
GlennAUII Former XT pilot Legacy Donating Member 4,791 Member For: 23y 2m Gender: Male Location: The Womb Posted 27/07/04 09:35 AM Posted 27/07/04 09:35 AM :lol: LMFFAO!!!
sharkey Member 337 Member For: 22y 8m 16d Posted 28/07/04 12:18 AM Posted 28/07/04 12:18 AM A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!; This must be a sign from God!"The woman continued, "and look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police...." MORAL OF THE STORY: Women are clever, evil b!tches. Don't mess with them
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