Blown BA In Your Face Member 6,195 Member For: 23y 6m 15d Gender: Male Location: Peninsula Posted 03/08/04 02:39 AM Posted 03/08/04 02:39 AM A woman goes into a bar real depressed and uses her last 10 dollars to buy a drink. All of a sudden she gets an idea that she knows will solve her problems.She takes her change and goes to the man at the end of the bar and says, " Mister, I'm broke and my landlord said if I dont give him the rent money first thing in the morning, I'm out of a place to live. I'll bet you my last five dollars that I can come up with a rhyme that you can't come up with a reply to."The man wanting to help her says ok go ahead.So she tells him, "six times six is thirty-six and three is thirty-nine. I can tell the length of yours but you can't tell the depth of mine."The man scratches his head and says, "your right, I can't top that." and he pays her the five dollars.Then she goes to the next man and the next until she has beat every man in the bar. So she goes to the next bar and starts betting 100 at a time. She does this at every bar on the block until she has 3,000 dollars. Deciding that's enough she heads for home.On her way she meets a bum in an alley and decides to have a little fun. So she tells the bum that she will bet her 3,000 dollars against his bottle of booze that she can tell him a ryhme to wich he cant come up with a reply. The bum figures what the heck and says "your on"Six times six is thirty-six and three is thirty-nine, I can tell the length of yours but you can't tell the depth of mine.The bum sits back, thinks for a minute and says "six times six is thirty-six and three is thirty-nine, I can piss in yours but you can't piss in mine!!"
Blown BA In Your Face Member 6,195 Member For: 23y 6m 15d Gender: Male Location: Peninsula Posted 03/08/04 02:40 AM Posted 03/08/04 02:40 AM A duck walks into a bar, sits down at the barstool, and waits for the bartender. The bartender walks up, hands the duck a menu, waits a while, and comes back to take his order. "What'll it be?" the bartender says.The duck says, "I think I'll have the grapes." "Well, I'm sorry sir, but this is a bar, we don't serve grapes here. Now, I'll let you look a bit longer and wave when you know what you want." The duck looks at the menu, then waves the bartender down. "Ok, you got your order?" The duck nods, saying, "I'll think I'll have the grapes." The bartender, kind of peeved from the duck, says, "Look Mac, we don't have any grapes here. This is a bar. We don't serve grapes, so what will you have?!" The duck looks at him in the eyes and says, "I'll have the grapes."The bartender, enraged, shouts, "If you ask for the grapes one more time I'm going to nail your feathered a** to the barstool!!" The bartender cools off a bit. "Now what will you get?!" "Got any nails?" "OF COURSE WE DON'T HAVE ANY NAILS! WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS? AN APPLIANCE STORE?" "Good, got any grapes?"
Blown BA In Your Face Member 6,195 Member For: 23y 6m 15d Gender: Male Location: Peninsula Posted 03/08/04 02:41 AM Posted 03/08/04 02:41 AM There were 4 guys sitting in a bar. One of them decided to play a little game about what each of them thought was the fastest thing in the world.Well the first guy says, "I think a Concord Jet is the fastest thing in the world, because it can go faster than the speed of sound."Well the second guy says, "Well I think I got you beat on that one! I think lightning is the fastest thing in the world, because it can go faster than the speed of light and sound."Well the third guy says, "Well I believe I have both of you beat. The brain is the fastest thing in the world, because whenever you need something, it is right there for you."Well the fourth guys clearly states, "Well I have got you all beat! I think the anal sphincter muscle is the fastest thing in the world." The other three guys say really? Why's that?And the fourth guys says, "Well I was on a Concord Jet, it got struck by lightning, and I didn't know what to do ... so I sh*t my pants!"
GlennAUII Former XT pilot Legacy Donating Member 4,791 Member For: 23y 2m 1d Gender: Male Location: The Womb Posted 03/08/04 11:59 AM Posted 03/08/04 11:59 AM
aniken I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it Legacy Donating Member 4,316 Member For: 23y 9m 4d Gender: Male Location: Sydney, south west Posted 03/08/04 12:24 PM Posted 03/08/04 12:24 PM :lol:
Falchoon I see red Member 5,758 Member For: 23y 9m 7d Location: nowhere in particular Posted 04/08/04 12:05 AM Posted 04/08/04 12:05 AM George W Bush begins his speech to open the Olympic Games. "Ooooooo! Ooooooo! Ooooooo! Ooooooo! Ooooooo! An aide comes over and whispers: "Mr President, those are the Olympic rings, your speech is below!" :lol:
Macktheknife Xtreme Xalted Member Legacy Donating Member 3,112 Member For: 23y 4m 18d Gender: Male Location: BrisVegas Posted 04/08/04 03:28 AM Posted 04/08/04 03:28 AM George W Bush begins his speech to open the Olympic Games. "Ooooooo! Ooooooo! Ooooooo! Ooooooo! Ooooooo! An aide comes over and whispers: "Mr President, those are the Olympic rings, your speech is below!" :lol: FPML. :lol: :lol: :lol:
turbotom Team Bute Legacy Donating Member 1,550 Member For: 23y 2m 9d Gender: Male Location: Adelaide Posted 04/08/04 04:35 AM Posted 04/08/04 04:35 AM The Olympics are upon us.... see a preview below.Olympics in Athens
KEN 24T Gandalf the Grey, Maiar of Manwë and Varda, Team HgAg/Sneaky Member 7,371 Member For: 23y 2m 25d Gender: Male Location: The Shire, Middle Earth Posted 04/08/04 05:13 AM Posted 04/08/04 05:13 AM The Olympics are upon us.... see a preview below.Olympics in Athens :lol:
Macktheknife Xtreme Xalted Member Legacy Donating Member 3,112 Member For: 23y 4m 18d Gender: Male Location: BrisVegas Posted 04/08/04 05:26 AM Posted 04/08/04 05:26 AM s'bloody funny maate..
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