Blown BA In Your Face Member 6,195 Member For: 23y 6m 13d Gender: Male Location: Peninsula Posted 17/08/04 07:10 AM Posted 17/08/04 07:10 AM How to shower like a manTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed leave in a pile.Walk naked to the bathroom if you see wife along the way - shake knob ather making woo-hoo sound.Look at manly physique in the mirror, admire size of knob and scratchyourass.Get in the shower.Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and letthewater rinse it off.Make fart noises (real or artifical) and laugh at how loud they sound inthe shower.Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash yourbum, leaving four pubes stuck on the soap.Shampoo hair. Make shampoo mohawk. Pee.Rinse off and get out of the shower. Partially dry off.Fail to notice water on the floor. Admire knob size in mirror again.Leave shower door open, leave wet mat on the floor, leave light and fanon.Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull offtowel, shake knob at her and make woo-hoo noise. Again.Throw wet towel on bed.
Blown BA In Your Face Member 6,195 Member For: 23y 6m 13d Gender: Male Location: Peninsula Posted 17/08/04 07:37 AM Posted 17/08/04 07:37 AM A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single." The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?" The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly
Macktheknife Xtreme Xalted Member Legacy Donating Member 3,112 Member For: 23y 4m 16d Gender: Male Location: BrisVegas Posted 17/08/04 10:50 PM Posted 17/08/04 10:50 PM Andrew Hoy's horse walked into a Bar in Athens...The barman said "Goodai maite", Whya sucha longa facea....
Falchoon I see red Member 5,758 Member For: 23y 9m 5d Location: nowhere in particular Posted 17/08/04 10:53 PM Posted 17/08/04 10:53 PM :lol:
KEN 24T Gandalf the Grey, Maiar of Manwë and Varda, Team HgAg/Sneaky Member 7,371 Member For: 23y 2m 23d Gender: Male Location: The Shire, Middle Earth Posted 18/08/04 12:12 AM Posted 18/08/04 12:12 AM Andrew Hoy's horse walked into a Bar in Athens...The barman said "Goodai maite", Whya sucha longa facea....Mack! ... that joke is older than you are!!!
Macktheknife Xtreme Xalted Member Legacy Donating Member 3,112 Member For: 23y 4m 16d Gender: Male Location: BrisVegas Posted 18/08/04 12:23 AM Posted 18/08/04 12:23 AM Andrew Hoy's horse walked into a Bar in Athens...The barman said "Goodai maite", Whya sucha longa facea....Mack! ... that joke is older than you are!!! Not in Athens....The Greeks have not yet been exposed to MackFunny times.
KEN 24T Gandalf the Grey, Maiar of Manwë and Varda, Team HgAg/Sneaky Member 7,371 Member For: 23y 2m 23d Gender: Male Location: The Shire, Middle Earth Posted 18/08/04 12:25 AM Posted 18/08/04 12:25 AM Not in Athens....The Greeks have not yet been exposed to MackFunny times. God help them ...
JB Forum Superhero Legacy Donating Member 3,109 Member For: 22y 9m 26d Location: Eastern Suburbs of Mexico Posted 18/08/04 05:36 AM Posted 18/08/04 05:36 AM A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious." The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."
Blown BA In Your Face Member 6,195 Member For: 23y 6m 13d Gender: Male Location: Peninsula Posted 18/08/04 06:02 AM Posted 18/08/04 06:02 AM H e said, She said...1.He said . . . I don't now why you wear a bra; you'vegot nothing to put in it. She said .. . You wear pants don't you?2.He said . . .Shall we try swapping positions tonight?She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while Isit on the sofa.3.He said . . .. What have you been doing with all thegrocery money I gave you? She said . ..Turn sideways and look in themirror!4.On a wall in a ladies room . .. . "My husband follows me everywhere"Written just below it . .. . " I do not"5.Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it taketo do the dishes? A. Both of them.6.Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?A. He buys two cases of beer.7.Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds? A. Thebonds mature.8.Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?A. So men can remember them.9.Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? A. Wedon't know; it has never happened.10.Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring andgood-looking? A. They already have boyfriends.11.Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is everynight? A. A widow.12.Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.13.Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?A. They're married.14.Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says:"So you would love her." "But God," the man says, "why did you make herso dumb?" God says: "So she would love you."
Blown BA In Your Face Member 6,195 Member For: 23y 6m 13d Gender: Male Location: Peninsula Posted 18/08/04 06:36 AM Posted 18/08/04 06:36 AM A foursome of senior golfers hit the course with waning enthusiasm for the sport."These hills are getting steeper as the years go by," one complained."These fairways seem to be getting longer too," said one of the others."The sand traps seem to be bigger than I remember them too," said the third senior.After hearing enough from his Senior buddies, the oldest, and the wisest of the four of them at 87 years old, piped up and said..."Quit your dang complaining and just be thankful we're still on the RIGHT SIDE of the grass!"
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