Joke Of The Day

[tbearz]

Dear all Master Brains

Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You

have to answer them instantly. You can't take your

time, answer all of them immediately. OK?

Let's find out just how clever you really are.

Ready? GO!!! (Scroll down)

First Question:

You are participating in a race. You overtake the

second person. What position are you in?

Answer: If you answered that you are first, and then

you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second

person and you take his place, you are second!

Try not to screw up your in the next question.

To answer the second question, don't take as much time

as you took for the first question.

Second Question:

If you overtake the last person, then you are...?

Answer: If you answered that you are second to last,

and then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you

overtake the LAST Person?

You're not very good at this! Are you?

Third Question:

Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head

only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try

it.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now

add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another

1000 now add 10. What is the total?

Scroll down for answer.

Did you get 5000?

The correct answer is actually 4100.

Don't believe it? Check with your calculator!

Maybe you will get the last question right?

Fourth Question:

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene,

3.Nini, 4. Nono.

What is the name of the fifth daughter?

Answer: Nunu? NO! Of course not. Her name is Mary.

Read the question again.

Okay, now the bonus round:

There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush.

By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth he

successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and

the purchase is done.

Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair

of sunglasses, how should he express himself?

Answer: He just has to ope n his mouth and ask, so

simple.

[jEtONiT]

frk only got the last one wrong.. I was imagining him pointing to his eyes lol.

[Guest FatBAt]

I find it really embarrassing to laugh my head off when I'm on my own.

But Hey! I'm on my own.

[XR6_ED]

A young Japanese girl had been taught all her life that when she

married she was to please her husband and never upset him.

So the first morning of her honeymoon the young Japanese bride crawled

out of bed after making love, stooped down to pick up her

husband's clothes and accidentally let out a big fart.

She looked up and said:

"Aww so sowwy...excuse prease, front hole so happy back hole laugh

out loud."

[KittyKatSmack]

I have discovered why men snore when laying on their back!

Their balls fall over their as*hole and they get a vapor lock

*runs for it*

Edited 22/11/05 10:30 AM by KittyKatSmack

[Guest FatBAt]

I have discovered why men snore when laying on their back!

Their balls fall over their as*hole and they get a vapor lock

*runs for it*

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

HEY!.............I RESEMBLE that comment...........

[Guest FatBAt]

Q. What do you call a good looking female Arab.

A. Asiff

[XR6TT]

bit of compression lock up dosent hurt any1

[IH8TOADS]

While I was driving down the freeway the other day, (going a little

faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a

policeman on the other side with a radar gun, laying in wait. The

policeman pulled me over, walked up to the car and with that classic,

patronising smirk, asked:

"Runway too short"?

To which I replied. "I'm late for work"

To which he asked, "What do you do?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.

The policeman was surprised and confused.

"A what"

"A rectum stretcher"

"and just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," I said "I start by inserting one finger then I work my way up to

two fingers, then three, then four then with my whole hand in, work side

to side until I can stretch and stretch and then I slowly but surely

stretch the hole until it's about 6 feet"

Then the policeman asked questioningly and cautiously . "And just what

do you do with a six-foot ars*h*le?"

To which I politely replied, "You give it a radar gun and park it behind

a bridge..."

Speeding ticket: $150

Court Costs: $45

Look on copper's face: Priceless....

[phantomchic]

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today

than on Alzheimer's research.

This means that by 2030, there should be a large elderly population

with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection

of what to do with them.