Joke Of The Day

[Panda Eyes]

whats the difference between 365 condoms and a tyre

ones a goodyear, ones a great year

[sexual harrassment panda]

My girlfriend is piss of at me again

Last night while she slept I swapped her tampon for a party popper

That woman has no sense of humour

[Turbo6FG]

How do you re-use a condom?

Just turn it inside out & shake the f#ck out of it.

[Turbo6FG]

A man walks into a night club one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer.

"Certainly, Sir, that'll be $0.25."

"25 Cents?", exclaimed the man. So the man glances over at the menu and asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with chips, peas and a fried egg?"

"Certainly Sir," replies the barman, "but that comes to real money."

"How much money?" inquires the man.

"$1.00," the bartender replied.

"$1.00?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"

The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife."

The man says, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"

The bartender replied, "The same thing as I'm doing to his business."

Edited 06/12/10 12:29 PM by Turbo6FG

[Turbo6FG]

Letter to Men's Helpline:-

Hey Mate, really need your advice for a serious problem:

I have suspected for some time now that the missus has been cheating. The usual signs; Phone rings, if

I answer the caller hangs up, going out with the girls a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she

comes home but I usually fall asleep.

Anyway last night about midnight I hid in the shed behind the boat, when she came home she got out of

someone's car buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on...

It was at that moment crouched behind the boat I noticed... A "hairline crack" in the outboard mounting bracket...

Is that something I can weld myself or do I need to replace it?

[Turbo6FG]

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a

train stops. On my desk, I have a work station...

[Corzza]

After their baby was born, a panicked father went to see the Obstetrician.

‘Doctor,’ the man said, ‘I don’t mind telling you, but I’m a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can’t possibly be mine!!’

‘Nonsense,’ the doctor said’. ‘Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool.’

‘It isn’t possible,’ the man insisted.’????? ?’This can’t be, our families on both sides had jet-black hair for generations.’

‘Well,’ said the doctor, ‘let me ask you this. How often do you have sex??? ‘

The man seemed a bit ashamed . ‘I’ve been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice every few months.’

‘Well, there you have it!’ The doctor said confidently. ‘It’s rust.’

[Turbo6FG]

Wife: What are you doing today?

Husband: Nothing.

Wife: You didn't do anything yesterday!

Husband: Well, I haven't finished yet.

[Corzza]

haha very good @ ^^

[Guest XR09]

Her Diary:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.' When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. To my surprise, he responded to my caress, and we made love. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

His Diary:

Boat wouldn't start, can't figure out why , got a root though .