Joke Of The Day

[Corzza]

A wife comes home late at night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.

From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two.

She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.

Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.

As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.

"Hi Darling", he says, "Your parents have come to visit us, so l let them stay in our bedroom.

Did you say ‘hello’?”

There comes a time when a woman just has to trust her husband...

[Ciaran]

How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?

Scroll Down. --->

...

<----- Scroll Up.

[Howsee]

Bahahahahaha

[PookeyMaster]

Lol, these are good guys

[Corzza]

"Dogs Welcome"

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a

Midwest town he planned to visit on his

vacation. He wrote: "I would very much like

to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed

and very well behaved. Would you be willing

to permit me to keep him in my room with

me at night?"

An immediate reply came from the hotel

owner, who wrote: "Sir: I've been operating

this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've

never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes,

silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never

had to evict a dog in the middle of the night

for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never

had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed,

your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your

dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay

here, too."

[Corzza]

[Ciaran]

Who's Konys favourite rapper?

Souljah boy.

[Corzza]

Not long after he became Prime Minister of Australia, and long before political correctness was ever heard of, Bob Hawke told this joke to 700 people at a Melbourne dinner function;

The Indian PM Indira Gandhi was looking for a way to divert attention from the political and economical mess of her government and one of her staff suggested a national lottery. The idea was accepted, the lottery was organized and the whole of India bought tickets in the hope of winning one of the three mystery prizes.

The draw was done in a large stadium, watched by millions of people. First the third prize was drawn; a first class ticket around the world on Air India, the winner was pretty happy with this. Then the second prize was drawn; a fruit cake. The winner was not happy, he complained that the third prize was better, and normally one would expect the second to be larger than the third.

The compere explains; oh, but this is a special fruit cake, it was baked by Mrs. Gandhi!

To which the winner replies; F%#*! Mrs. Gandhi!

The compere; oh no, that is first prize!

The Indian High Commissioner was not impressed.....

[Corzza]

Bruce, Robbo and his missus were playing poker one evening. Bruce accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Robbo's wife Sheila's map of Tassie as she wasn't wearing any undies under her dress! Shocked by this, Bruce upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced. Later, Bruce went to the kitchen to get more beer. Robbo's wife followed and asked, "Did you see anything that you liked under there?" Surprised by the boldness, Bruce courageously admitted that, well indeed he did. She said, " Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500," After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, Bruce confirms that he is interested. She tells him that since her husband Robbo works Friday arvos and Bruce doesn't, Bruce should be at her house around 2:00p.m. When Friday rolled around, Bruce showed up at Robbo's house at 2p.m. sharp and after paying Sheila the agreed sum of $500 they went to the bedroom and had a root and Bruce paid as agreed. Bruce quickly dressed and left. As usual, Robbo came home from work at 6 p.m. and upon entering the house, asked Sheila abruptly. "Did Bruce come by the house this afternoon? Sheila answered "Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon." Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked,"And did he give you $500?" In terror she assumed that somehow he had found out and after mustering her best poker face, replied, "Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500," Robbo, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, Good on him, I was hoping he did. Bruce came by the office this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He promised me he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back."

[PookeyMaster]

Haha, that last one is good.